If you've read my recent post about "How a 47-Hour Work Week Turns into 7 Years of Free Labor", you have a deeper appreciation for balancing your work hours because you realize the true cumulative effect long work hours can have on your time. However, what if your boss doesn't quite have the same appreciation for time? If your boss is a workaholic with poor work-life boundaries, chances are that he or she will have a disconnect with you on 2 very important things relating to time:
The amount of time it is acceptable to work per week.
The amount of time it takes to deliver quality work and thus how much quality work can reasonably be expected under normal work hours.
If your boss is working 70+ hour weeks and/or has a poor handle on time, they will likely not understand the importance of prioritization or have a good grasp on how long tasks actually take. After all, they've never really paid attention to that themselves. This creates a fundamental work philosophy dichotomy that adds significant difficulty and stress to your day-to-day work. You are expected to do more work than you actually are able to accomplish within your own personal boundaries, and because your boss has a different philosophy they will be challenging if not impossible to influence. Not a good or enjoyable situation to say the least. So what then?? Luckily, I have a few things to share with you today on this topic. I've experienced this exact situation, having a boss tell me things such as:
As long as I'm not working until 9pm during the week and every weekend, I shouldn't be coming to them with concerns about work-life balance.
I should be thankful for being given a challenging and highly visible role, instead of having concerns over the level of work demands.
If I enjoyed the work I was doing, I wouldn't mind working long hours.
I'm simply over-estimating the time it takes to do the work.
These are all utterly ridiculous on so many levels, but the sad reality is that there are people within companies who think this way, and some of those very people are managers who have strong influence over your job satisfaction and career trajectory. The stress in these types of situations has serious implications, not only for your career but for your health and your pocketbook. If you are in a stressful work situation (no matter the cause) you:
Are 30% more likely of developing coronary heart disease
Have 5-8% higher healthcare costs annually
Have a 20% higher chance of making a mistake at work
Are 2x more likely to get sick in general
Are more likely to have high cholesterol
Have a lower life expectancy (In fact, job-related stress is more deadly than diabetes, Alzheimer's, or influenza)
Not to be a Debbie-Downer here, but this stuff is serious. I wanted you to have a full appreciation for how work situations impact your wellbeing, so that you feel motivated enough to take action. This brings me to the 6 steps, in order, you should take when faced with a workaholic boss who has unrealistic time demands.
Step 1: Confirm Your Priorities
Before taking any serious action, you should first take some time to clarify what your personal priorities are. Why are you working in this job? Is it because you live well above your means and so you've become a slave to the income? Or do you work because you enjoy it, you feel a duty to, or you have a calling to? Are you the sole provider for your family? What are your life priorities, and in what order do they sit? Are your current actions congruent with your life priority list? This may take some deep thought and soul searching. For me, I find that I have several more important priorities than work including my health and wellbeing (spiritually, emotionally, and physically), my marriage, and other relationships in my life including family and friends. Work-related stress compromises my ability to enjoy those things, have capacity to deal with issues outside of work, or relate to other people in general. Financial freedom is also important to me, thus giving me an option to work not a demand to. Whatever you find in your reflections, write all of these priorities down. You may also find some benefit in writing down a few of your goals in line with those priorities. These things will serve to illuminate which steps you take next and why.
Step 2: Clarify Your Value
This will involve clearly quantifying and communicating your value, both for yourself and for your boss. Luckily I've written posts to help you with this: Value-Based Thinking and The One Simple Thing That's Keeping You From Being Successful. This step will powerfully establish what you bring to the table, giving you leverage to negotiate your position.
Step 3: Communicate Your Boundaries
A herd of sheep with no fence will no longer be a herd. Obviously you must have a fence that keeps the sheep you want in and the predators you don't want out. Personal boundaries are the same - If you lack them, you will lose important things and let bad things in. This applies to so many of life aspects. If you don't set and enforce boundaries, most companies will squeeze however much work out of you that you are willing to give. There will never be enough. So, identify what your personal boundaries are in terms of work time. Are you willing to work 70+ hour weeks? If so, for how long? Do you expect vacation compensation for the extra time? Are you willing to stay late one day if you can leave early later in the week? Are you willing to take after-hours calls? How often and at what times? These boundaries should definitely be discussed prior to taking a position during the interview stage, but I've found that what is said during interviews may not be what happens in reality, because of what I like to call the "interview dance". Personal situations also change - you may have a new baby, a chronic illness that develops (perhaps due to the stress...), or an elderly parent to care for. Whatever the reasons, communicate what your current boundaries are with your boss, firmly and clearly.
Step 4: Influence Horizontally
If after completing steps 1-3 you are still not gaining traction after a few months, you should begin to attempt influencing horizontally. By this, I mean identify people who are not above your boss in the chain of command who may be peers with him or her, peers he or she respects and who can positively influence him or her. Begin cultivating alliances with these people. Honestly explain your situation and concerns with them and ask for their advice. Ask them to help you. This is a soft influence approach that is much less abrasive than going above your boss's head. Plus, you end up with powerful alliances that can help you in many ways in the future.
Step 5: Influence Vertically
If horizontal influencing doesn't work, you are now faced with elevating the issue to someone above your boss. This comes at a risk of upsetting your boss and hindering the relationship further, but if you've exhausted all other options without improvement you have few choices at this point. Think about the implications of going above your boss, and how that will be accepted or perceived, both by your boss and by his or her superior. If the superior is approachable and open to discussion, then carefully frame your points prior to the meeting and then lay them out. Communicate how many discussions you've had with your boss about this and the outcome of those discussions. You should leave the meeting with buy-in from the superior for change, and an agreement to meet again in a few months to check-in.
Step 6: Look for Other Opportunities
If you've trudged through the 5 steps I've outlined above, allowing appropriate time to wait for potential change, and yet still feel that the situation is not improving, you now must begin looking for other opportunities. This may seem like the end of the world to some, especially if you've wrapped your identity and self-worth into your current job or company. The truth and reality is that you are not defined by your job or your career. There is not only one option for you out there. The world is full of possibilities and options. You have a choice! Evaluate those seriously. Draft your plan and begin executing it. You may choose to disclose this to your boss, in the hopes that will finally motivate action. Or you may choose to not disclose it and put your 2 weeks' notice in after careful preparation. Either way, the long-term tradeoffs to your health, wellbeing, and time are not worth it. Don't continue tolerating it out of fear for the unknown or fear of change! You work to live, not the other way around.
© 2017 by The Process Maven